Naseeb (1981)

Directed by: Manmohan Desai
Music: Laxmikant-Pyarelal
Lyrics: Anand Bakshi
Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Hema Malini,
Shatrughan Sinha, Reena Roy,
Rishi Kapoor, Kim,
Pran, Amjad Khan,
Amrish Puri, Kader Khan,
Prem Chopra, Shakti Kapoor,
Jeevan, Shubhan Khote,
Lalita Pawar, Mukri

I have decided that after a month of gentle grieving, I need something to leaven the sadness. For me, masala films, true blue masala films, the kind that Hindi cinema made so beautifully once, are both a solace and an escape from a world that seems to be growing increasingly insane. Most of my masala movie watching is done with Shalini, and our ‘watchalongs’ always double the fun of watching these out and out entertainers. Good films are made even more so, while the bad ones become cause for even more mirth.

So, in the first of these reviews, let me present to you that Baadshah of masala, that Shahenshah of illogic – Manmohan Desai (MD hereafter). We both agree that he’s criminally overlooked when people talk of the masala-verse. He certainly didn’t care for logic in his films, but he always had a good grip on the diverse strands of his cockamamie plot. The emotional core in his films was a solid one. [All reviews will be served with a side of our very ‘intellectual’ comments as a palate cleanser. Shalini’s comments in green; mine in whatever-this-shade-is, and sundry asides in italics.] 

Naseeb opens with a dedication to Mohammed Rafi [which made me feel sad], and a star cast that looks like the Who’s Who list of the film industry – the stars who appear in one iconic song. 

Shalini and I are already confused when the film begins. Does Namdev (Pran) have three wives or not? If the Muslim lady is his wife, then why does she call him Bhaijaan? But our attention is distracted by the presence of other villains – first, Damodar (Amjad Khan) and then, at the little restaurant where Namdev works, Raghunath (Kader Khan). Jagdish (Jagdish Raj, who’s not a police officer, so I’m distracted once again), a band musician, makes up the quartet of friends. There, a decrepit tramp (Satyen Kappu) tries to pay for his meal with a lottery ticket – and the four friends chip in to buy it off him. Jagdish/Jaggu is elected to hold on to the ticket.

The next morning, Jaggu wakes up just in time to bid goodbye to his wife (Dulari) and two daughters. As he reads the newspaper, his eye catches a list of lottery ticket numbers and is pleasantly shocked to discover that he holds the lottery winning ticket. Excitedly, he calls Namdev, only to be (literally) stabbed in the back by Raghu. Damu secretly snaps a photograph of the murder as insurance. He obviously hasn't heard of honour among thieves.

Meanwhile [there are going to be plenty of ‘meanwhiles’ in this review], Namdev arrives in delighted haste, and unfortunately for him, stumbles over Jaggu’s corpse. 

 

Shalini: How did Pran manage to fall over a body he could clearly see?
Me: It’s an MD movie and you have questions?
S [abashedly]: Sorry!

Namdev is grabbed by the police who have been summoned by Raghu, pretending to be a dying Jaggu (don’t ask!). Damu, helpfully, helps him escape.  

Now, Jaggu and Namdev are dead, and Damu and Raghu are rich. In the meantime, an earthquake has devasted the region where Namdev’s wife (wives?) and children have gone on holiday. Only Mrs Gomes (Lalita Pawar - who is she to them? No idea!) and an assorted group of children survive. (I recognise Master Mayur, Baby Khushboo and Master Ravi.)

All this happens in the first 10 minutes; we are impressed by the efficient plotting and the dialogues.

S: And people make fun of masala movies and MD! 

 

Damu and Raghu decided to build a hotel - and give Namdev's son a job there. It’s S’s turn to be distracted by Vikram/Vicky’s suit.  Vicky (Anees Bazmee) is being sent abroad for his studies. Vicky is Damu’s son; Johnny (Master Mayur) is Namdev’s. 
S: Which kid wears a suit? And why is Johnny’s name Johnny?  

I'm too distracted by the assertion that a mawa cake is a fruit cake to answer.

The scene segues to John Jaani Janardhan, answering Shalini's question and introducing us to the grown-up Johnny (Amitabh Bachchan).  

Lovelights spring up spontaneously in our eyes. Shalini is impressed that there’s a reason for all the stars to show up – it’s the silver jubilee celebration of Dharam Veer. We applaud the self-referencing. The song ends, and Johnny suddenly remembers he has to send a mawa cake to Vicky who is in London. [Prem Chopra shows up as the hotel owner/manager. Bhagwan shows up as the hotel chef. Reena Roy shows up with marbles.]

S: Pilot kya uska bhai hai that he’ll take a cake for Johnny?

And suddenly, the scene shifts to London, where we get a ‘heroine intro’ scene. (And a 'hero fight' scene starring Vicky (Shatrughan Sinha) but that's not important.) She is Asha (Hema Malini).

S: Hema is spunky!
Me: Yes, she never did play damsel in distress very well, did she?
Vicky is around, though, falling in love with Asha at first sight, and hastening to her rescue. We’re amused that his hat stays on as he jumps onto the boat. 
S: It must be glued on!

It’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship. But the man Vicky humiliates neatly turns the tables on him, and the friendship crashes before it gets off the ground. 

So, of course, he takes to drink! Ah, woman, the downfall of a good man! I am amazed that a man who has never imbibed before can drink whiskey straight from the bottle without a change in his expression.  

 

Meanwhile, we meet Sunny (Rishi Kapoor) who is in boarding school. We strive to stifle our disbelief.

 Me [hesitantly]: Well, if Shatru can be in college, Rishi can be in school.  

But our attention is distracted by Jeevan, dressed like an Oxford don in gown and cap. Yes, really. 

Sunny is threatening to jump off the roof of his hostel if the headmaster doesn’t give him passing marks. Being sane, he has a rope around his waist held by two of his friends should he have to make good his threat. Unfortunately for him, the girls’ hostel opposite seems to be on fire. And when the girls come rushing out of the hostel, the boys, including his friends, run to meet them. “Ladkiyaan dekhi to bhaag gaye,” mutters Rishi in disgust.  We grin.

The fire has been caused by Sunny’s girlfriend, Kim (Kim) smoking, while she's engrossed in a book on lip reading. [It has a part to play later, so pay attention.] Sunny, who has gallantly swung to the rescue, is even more disgusted. If it hadn’t been for her...! But being of brilliant mind, if not exactly good at studies, Sunny uses the ‘rescue’ to good effect. 

 

By appealing to the ‘Supreme Court’ – the girls’ principal (Shubha Khote). 
Me: Everyone who’s anyone is here in this film!

Kim and he also blackmail the couple (who are secretly romancing each other) into letting them hold a Girls v. Boys ‘tu tu tu’ match.

Meanwhile [I told you so!] Asha, in Bombay now, has run into trouble – her boss’s son, Ashok (Shakti Kapoor), wants his girlfriend (Sheetal) to be the club singer. Asha is not waiting to be rescued but matters would have turned nasty if it weren’t for Johnny's serendipitous arrival.

We love that Asha is not just standing there now that the ‘hero’ has shown up.  When the fight ends,  Johnny wonders if this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. In a reversal of Basanti in Sholay, she says, "Bak bak sun-ne ki aadat nahiin hai."

We gaze lovingly at AB. I wouldn’t have minded his bak bak at all!

Anyway. He informs her that he feeds the whole world. She’s amused when she opens at the restaurant the next night and him serving drinks. We love that AB joins in the chorus in the background.

Asha offers to drop him home. But he wants to be dropped off at Ballard Pier. She asks him to stop his shut up. We love AB’s expression when he sits with a finger to his lips. We also like the scene that follows. Johnny is going to see his mehboob, he says, and proceeds to describe his beloved. Asha drops him – literally. A puzzled Johnny makes his way to his mehboob (Mukri) who organises boxing bouts. 

Johnny is in no mood to fight. Mehboob bhai is aghast. He’ll lose money. Reluctantly, Johnny steps into the ring. And gets beaten to a pulp. Just then, Asha arrives, her curiosity obviously having got the better of her.  

I love that AB doesn’t suddenly become ‘hero’ because the heroine arrives. We both love that Asha feels like she can take on his ‘mehboob’ and win! Johnny is irritated that his opponent (Manek Irani) doesn’t allow him to talk to her. So he takes care of him first. It is very satisfying to see Asha-Johnny’s complete understanding of each other. 

Their romance flourishes. Even if Johnny mistakes her ad shoot for real life.  We melt into mush at the scene that follows. Shalini is pleased that Asha /Hema is not coy at all. Romances should be like this. AB makes us go weak in the knees. We love that Asha is not going to give up her show for Johnny. And that he doesn’t even attempt to ask her to.

Meanwhile, Vicky has returned from London. Johnny takes Asha to meet him, but a miss is as good as a mile. Vicky leaves, asking Johnny to bring his girlfriend to a party at his home that night. When Johnny returns home, it is to find that Julie is refusing to marry the man her mother has chosen for her. He is happy when he learns why.

But when Johnny and Julie arrive at Vicky's home [a glass house, don't these people have any need for privacy?], it is to learn that Vicky is ill; if he continues drinking, he will soon suffer from cirrhosis of the liver. We love filmi medicine. We also love that that paternal love doesn’t stop Damu from reading Vicky the riot act. Damu leaves, but not before asking Johnny to save his friend, if he can.

Me: SS didn’t have a subtle bone in his body, did he?
S: Nope. And it shows when he goes up against AB.

Johnny tries to save Vicky from himself. But he's about to have his heart broken. 

It's time for the great sacrifice. "Mauqa aaye to jeena main chhod doonga," says Johnny. It's a whistle-worthy line. We love that AB can speak these flowery lines and yet make them relatable. It's followed by another great line: “Waqt se pehle aur naseeb ke baad tere paas koi cheez agar dene ko ho to...”

Poor Julie...

Shalini mentions that she caught her husband singing this song.  “You didn’t divorce him?” I ask. He was so ‘pashemaan’, she says, that she forgave him. It is not a great song musically, but it's catchy and certainly pulls the narrative forward.

Johnny and Julie (Reena Roy) make the ultimate sacrifice. Vicky is disgusted;

Asha is furious. Johnny, well…   We love AB's expression as he sets fire to everything – his love, his friendship, his life.

'Your sacrifice will make God cry," intones a thoroughly impressed Mrs Gomes. It's unintentionally hilarious. Now it is Johnny’s turn to go down the path to hell. And Sunny’s responsibility to bring him back. [We think MD suddenly remembered that Rishi was in the movie.]

We love AB when he sulks.

But he and Sunny make up. And later, Sunny goes to meet Kim’s mother (Dulari). While there, he meets Damu, who’s there to fix Vicky’s marriage to Asha. Damu, who knows who Sunny is, throws a monkey wrench into his romance. 

We love that everyone is related to one another. We also love that both Asha and Kim have minds of their own. 

 

You haven’t forgotten the villains, have you? (Well, we did, so we don’t blame you.)

Oh, look, it’s Namdev! He’s alive! [What? You thought he was dead?!]  With another villain – Don (Amrish Puri – look, I told you everyone who's anyone is there in this movie! ). 

He’s sending Namdev to India. As Don. So that when the cops in [whatever country that is] come to arrest Don, they can be told Namdev is he.

Namdev has scores to settle. He meets Raghu and Damu. As Don. [Shades of The Count of Monte Cristo here.] They don't recognise him. Apparently dark glasses and a moustache are enough to disguise an old friend. He also returns to the restaurant where he once worked. Where he's promptly recognised.

We are aghast at Namdev's stupidity.

Meanwhile, Vicky has high-handedly decided that Johnny should marry Julie. On the same day that he marries Asha. Something about childhood promises. Whereupon, Julie, aghast at the thought of marrying her foster brother decides to commit suicide. I am aghast at her lack of taste – this is Amitabh we are talking about!

S: At least she picked a scenic spot to commit suicide.
Me: Yes, close enough to Khandala. How the hell did she get there from Bombay?
S: Magic carpet.
I laugh.  

But when Vicky informs Johnny that Julie is getting ready to be married to him, he loses it. "Dosti kho di, pyar ki qurbaani de di, ab chalo!" We love the summary. It's succinct. And short. We also love that Asha understands why Johnny did what he did. She neither berates him nor asks for explanations.Vicky decides not to marry Asha. He hands her over to Johnny. 'Teri amaanat". Like a parcel. Damu is furious – "Ab kiske saath?" he asks; who's getting married to whom? Vicky says he's now marrying Julie. Damu wonders if they think marriage is a merry-go-round.

But they don't have time to ponder such philosophical questions. Damu has made enemies. And since he apparently lives in a glass house… 

Luckily for him, Ashok is a bad shot.  We rue the waste of ammunition. And the lack of anything that resembles aim.Then, Namdev kidnaps Ashok. And Johnny follows, in the boot of Namdev's car. The scene is set for a showdown.

We love the dialogue-baazi about beta and baap – only AB and Pran could have pulled it off. Luckily, Mrs Gomes is there to tell them they are really baap and beta.  We love AB with tears in his eyes.

 

Don reappears, as does Prem Chopra, and the heroines ride to the rescue. Literally. Then, Kim appears as Eliza Doolittle, Sunny is Charlie Chaplin, Johnny is a matador (I think?) and Asha is a flamenco dancer poured into a gown so tight we wondered how she breathed. Vicky is a Cossack [and he's replaced in between by a Russian dancer who dances for him – we don’t notice the difference] and Julie is a gypsy? Harem girl? Something? 

 

We love AB as a matador. We both also agree that MD was nuts. That’s why we like him.

As we sit back and enjoy the crazy climax, we agree that the men in MD’s universe weren’t too bright. And that Hema makes everything better. And if you haven’t noticed already, we love Amitabh Bachchan. If you want to make sense of the plot, do watch the film. It's fun. And yes, it ends happily and satisfactorily.

So… this is a double toast: the first, to that unpretentious filmmaker, Manmohan Desai. Thank you, sir, for the years and years and years of entertainment; for making the films you wanted to make, and that we want to watch; for retaining that sense of craziness no matter who criticised you for it.

The second toast is for Shalini – my partner-in-crime, who shares my love of all things Amitabh Bachchan [and Shammi Kapoor and Rishi Kapoor and Feroz Khan… our chats are littered with 😍 emojis], my online ‘friend', until we finally met in person after years of watching films together and discovered we liked each other just as much; the woman who wickedly thinks up themes and conditions for my song lists and delightedly watches me squirm – and then, digs up the most obscure songs to populate the comments; the woman who tolerates my love for Deepika and Alia but reserves the right to snark when she watches them... 

For all the hours we have spent watching movies and the hours we have spent analysing them; for all the times we have ogled Amitabh and fan-girled over him; for the shared giggles and the unabashed equal-opportunity lusting over other pretty people on screen; for being there when I need cheering up and masala films [not necessarily in that order] – a strictly non-alcoholic toast, since Shalini doesn’t drink: ‘Salut!’ 

And here’s to the many films left to watch, and the many more hours of sheer entertainment – both on-screen and off.